IS
Each of us have had situations in our lives which fall into the category of “I can’t believe this is happening”. Some have had many.
With the recent, abrupt halt to what was once normal, everyone has been challenged. Those whose lives were in a good rhythm of “all is well” had to face the reality of a new normal. A huge adjustment. There are others who were in the midst of “all is not well” when the curtain of covid-19 fell upon their already challenged world. Many of them thinking, “Couldn’t have been worse timing.”
Whether it be unresolved custody issues and having to surrender beloved children to an unstable parent; a marriage rift with strife; already tenable finances; a teenager in the throes of rebellion; a child with cancer; unresolved issues from betrayal; addictions…….and the list can go on and on. One who was just doing ok living right at the water line is now suddenly pushed under by the sudden unexpected pressure of a “knock you off your feet” wave.
The above photo is of a piece of paper from my own personal tsunami years ago. There was a situation in my life that took me under the water line. Like most I wanted a magic bullet to change the circumstance. I wanted a modern day sign and wonder from Jesus. Just one touch and there would be healing. It was a very long season without remediation. Entangled in a constant liturgy of “this wasn’t supposed to happen” and “if only……..” with multiple fill in the blanks, it became an endless cycle of rehashing and ruminating. It was a redundant circle of thoughts that kept me trapped in my self- imposed prison. Thoughts lead to emotions. Toxic thinking leads to toxic emotions. And down and down she goes into a pit………………..not because of the circumstance, mind you. But because of my tenacious clinging to the now broken pieces of my world. As if my thought tornado could change the past or my anxiety level be mitigated by the attempt of piecing back together imploded remains.
One day I was led to read the account of the death of Lazarus in the 11th chapter of the book of John. After the fact I realized it was not coincidental I was directed to that passage. It was through the loving direction of a compassionate Heavenly Father watching His child in a tormented struggle.
Jesus seems to be quite nonchalant about his coming to the epicenter of the crisis of his friend Lazarus’ serious illness. Martha and Mary, sisters of Lazarus, and also close friends of Jesus Who often spent time in their home, sent a timely word of needed expediency. Yet Jesus waited until Lazarus died to arrive. Individually met by each of the women with an emotionally laden, “if only you had come………then Lazarus wouldn’t have died!!!” Jesus didn’t defend His actions. He merely said His Father would be glorified through this present situation.
In the midst of this encounter is one of the most beautiful passages in all of scripture: “Jesus wept.” Such deep compassion and empathy for their pain……….no greater gift than for a friend to share reflective tears.
And then the culmination: Jesus calls forth Lazarus from the tomb. Lazarus arises from death to life hobbling out in his grave clothes which he, himself, could not remove. The Lord told the others to remove the bindings. Grave clothes are pretty smelly. Lazarus had to allow others to get close enough to have that intimate role in his release.
It was in the reading of that passage the Lord challenged me to surrender all of my “if onlys” to Him in exchange for “But God…”. This was a pivotal place in my life journey as I realized the prerogative was His in regard to the filling of the blanks. The narrative belonged to Him not to me.
The IS card represented “this IS my reality”. Regardless of whether I liked this reality it was my reality. Wrestling with the shouldn’t haves or should haves simply prevented me from accepting my present circumstance. I had “IS” cards posted most everywhere: on the mirror, dashboard of my car, office wall……as a consistent reminder when I tended to gravitate to the left or to the right.
Acceptance doesn’t mean our circumstance is fine. It simply means it is what it is. There is a need to surrender. The difference between resignation and surrender depends upon to Whom we are surrendering. When it is the God of the Universe it surely puts into perspective what little we actually are able to control. Anxiety is created by focusing upon what is outside of our control.
There was another truth that took hold which became my compass: Jesus was the Great I Am of my IS. He was The Way, The Truth and The Life, personally inviting me to walk with Him as He navigated me through that period of time and over to the other side.
And all of those broken pieces? Once I surrendered them to Him He proceeded to recycle them into something quite beautiful. This is the promise given us in Romans 8:28.
I don’t know where you might be on the spectrum of this season of upside down and suffering. But He does. The same One Who met with Martha and Mary and shed tears, called Lazarus to life, is the same One Who died for each of us…and rose….that we would have life abundant.
You may have a multitude of “if onlys” and swirling with fear and worry. As the days roll into weeks and beyond, you may be weary and discouraged. My prayer for you is that you would surrender your “if onlys” and entrust them to the only One Who can bring life from death, beauty from ashes.
It begins with a step of faith which then leads to another and then another.
God is not One Who astral projects us from point A to point Z. It is in the intimate relationship of walking with Him, trusting Him, that we become changed. And all along we thought it was about the change in circumstance. It is much deeper. It is about His kingdom come and His will being done.
He is the Great I Am of our IS. We can trust Him
As He walks us to the other side