Dear Friends,

Several months ago we were meeting with a mother and her two small children, ages 7 and 6.  On the coffee table was a knotted set of beads; an image representative of the many mothers and children with whom we work who have found themselves entangled in the family court system. 

The two children hovered over the pile of beads and asked if they could attempt to untangle the mess.  Lo and behold they persisted for about 45 minutes, diligently working together until they had made straight what had been so horribly crooked. This was symbolic of what would finally occur months later when their mother was granted full custody and the children protected.

“The Hebrew word for justice in scripture is mishpat meaning “according to a specific, proper pattern”

In its most basic sense, justice means the proper ordering of things here on earth according to a heavenly pattern.  So in the Lord’s Prayer, when Jesus prays his Father’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven He is praying for justice.

Our modern day-associations of the word justice are something along the lines of people getting what is coming to them.  That is one meaning, but its root meaning is much deeper.  When a chiropractor aligns our vertebrae, he is bringing justice, so to speak, to our spine, bringing everything in harmony according to a larger, skeletal design.  When a mechanic aligns our tires he is bringing the tires to justice with the overall design of the car’s frame.

Solomon explains what justice looks like in the king’s day-to-day responsibilities (Psalm 72: 12-14):

“The king will rescue the poor when they cry to him; he will help the oppressed, who have no one to defend them.  He feels pity for the weak and the needy, and he will rescue them. He will redeem them from oppression and violence, for their lives are precious to him.” 

When the King of Kings came to earth this is how He lived His life.  When He taught about the Kingdom of Heaven He was helping people align their lives here on earth according to a heavenly pattern.  When He restored sight to the blind or, strength to the legs of the paralytic, or straightened the back of the bent over woman He was bringing justice to their bodies by restoring them to their proper working order.  When He saw people who had been battered like a bent reed He would bind them up, not break them off.  When He saw someone whose life was flickering in the wind, He wouldn’t pinch His fingers together to extinguish it.  Instead He would cup His hands around the wick to revive its flame.

When Jesus came to this world, it was not in some distant ethereal display, like the aurora borealis.  He came to us palpably, in flesh and blood, to live among us as one of us.  He comes to us still, most often in the same way; not in some spectacular display but through the flesh and blood of other people.”      (From the North Face of God by Ken Gire)

The role of New Direction Mustard Seed is to walk alongside women and children who have been victims of abuse within their homes only to find themselves caught, as prisoners, in the cogs of a family court system which espouses parent rights over children’s protection. We are finding more often the innocent parent and children lose their rights. When children disclose abuse to professionals who are able to verify the veracity of the disclosure, unfortunately, these accounts when sifted through the hands of the court system, are placed into the compartment of “mother coached.” Most often this is based on supposition rather than evidence.  Sadly 80% of sexual abuse disclosures are quashed by officers of the court.  As one mother who has been in the throes of a battle now for over two years fighting to protect her children who suffered multiple levels of abuse from the father: “what about children’s rights?”

The modern day concept of justice has become warped. Rather than the guilty getting what is, rightfully, coming to them we are finding more often it is the innocent who suffer.

“The parent who wants to protect their children from an abusive parent is now forced to run the gauntlet of a legal system that is now set up to defend the abuser.  The state has pre-ordained a system that gives maximum financial benefit to the lawyers and psychological practitioners who are involved in  what has become known as reunification services. The impact of teaching children not to listen to the evidence of their own experience and judgment produces the life-long incapacity to make or trust independent judgment in relationships.”  (Foundation for Child Victims of the Family Court)

It is quite an eye opener to sit in Family Court, particularly when there are cases of alleged abuse by a parent. It is “soul crushing” to witness the evisceration of testimonies of licensed professionals who uphold the credibility of a child’s disclosure of abuse.  It is not unusual for cases to drag on for two to three years; expenses for legal representation, psychological evaluations, etc to accrue to well over $200,000.  Mothers who fully expected that taking a step of seeking help for abuse would provide a safe haven of  protection for them and their children, find there is no such thing as “the shortest distance between two points is a straight line” in a system that is inculcated with damaging ideology of parental alienation. This “theory” alleges children’s disclosures of abuse are due to a mother brainwashing their child to say these things against the offending parent.

“There must be more to this story” is so very often a phrase heard when children are wrongfully removed from a good mother; implying “surely there is something about this mother you don’t know.”  There is more to the story.  Much more.  Not about the mother but about the ideology that has been driving Family Courts to make detrimental decisions regarding the wellbeing of children. Richard Gardner, a child psychiatrist, created the theory of parental alienation in 1985.  He wrote numerous books on this theory which posits when a child is resistant to being in the presence of an offending parent (most often a father) it has nothing to do with actual repeated experiences of abuse but, rather, much more is because of the preferred parent implanting a false narrative of abuse in the child’s mind. In spite of the National Association for Justice and Family Court Judges warning that this is never to be used in court as it does not stand up to relevant evidentiary standards.  Despite being discredited by the American Psychiatric Association due to lack of scientific evidence, parental alienation is still employed in court proceedings to support a conclusion that accounts of interpersonal abuse have been false.  There are courts in the United States which no longer allow PHD psychologists to testify using this ideology as the basis for their conclusions.  Unfortunately it is still prevalent in North Carolina Family Courts in this area.

By the way, Richard Gardner, now deceased, was an avowed advocate of pedophilia.  He might be in the ground but his evil ideology is still actively alive and destructive.

Consequently abused children are being forced into reunification with the offending parent.  When they exhibit fear and a desire to flee from this parent they are being told they will be punished unless they are willing to submit. Reunification Therapy is often used as a vehicle to force the children into a relationship with the offending parent.  The concept behind this therapy is for the children to “remember all of the good experiences they have had with this parent” and to open their hearts and minds up to “whether you like it or not the judge has ordered YOU WILL HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FATHER.”  I am not using the word father due to gender bias.  The reality in all of the cases in which we are involved, as well as most in the courts in America regarding this parental alienation ideology, parent reunification, etc. the vast majority of these cases are fathers who have violated their children.  Father’s Rights Groups began springing up in the 90’s to posture men to demand their rights to a child, regardless of the history, regardless of the veracity of the child’s disclosure of being abused by this father.

As you can imagine it is a tenacious battle to fight for the protective rights of these children, alongside their mothers who are repeatedly skewered and villainized in the courtroom.  In recent weeks we have had two victories in these battles; both of which involved children who had been sexually abused by fathers.  Despite repeated testimony offered in court regarding this abuse judges mandated the fathers having a right to unsupervised visits.  It took the words of a little 7 year old boy “I want to kill myself” when forced to a weekend with his father and a subsequent psychiatric commitment to open the judge’s eyes.  In each of these cases it has taken a tremendous amount of money to pay for legal representation, therapist’s disclosures, testimony from a criminologist, etc, etc, etc.  In both cases children now have protective legal boundaries. 

Back in the day when the substance and foundation of our nation was Judeo-Christian, family court was much different.  Unfortunately many when they hear of this present battle in the court room, are not aware this foundation no longer exists in America.  There is a gaping crevice which compromises true justice.  Whereas we realize the concept of lady justice being blind speaks of there being no bias of race, creed, gender, etc. , the truth is there is blindness in Family Court rooms that is obstructing true justice and protection of the innocent and the vulnerable: precious children who have been abused.  Parental Alienation ideology and the PHD custody evaluators who are entrenched in this bias have become the golden seal in far too many hearings.  Such a travesty.  Children who have been abused find their honest experiences of abuse are not only being negated, but they are now put to the test of being trapped in another level of abuse from the very system that should be protecting them.  Essentially many of the reunification therapies and camps use a form of brainwashing on these children.

As Dr. David Corwin from the American Society on the Abuse of Children says: “parental alienation is really one of the most powerful defenses that is used in family court rooms against accusations of sexual abuse: claiming a child has been programmed or coached by the other parents creates enough uncertainty for a court to believe the easier narrative:  that one parent would lie rather than a parent would sexually abuse a child.”

We are in the midst of numerous other court battles fighting alongside these mothers for the protection of their children who have been abused.  While we realize that TRUE JUSTICE will never be found here on earth, it is well worth the battle to continue to work toward justice for these good mothers and children.

Thank you for fighting alongside us,

Bridget and Dave Walls and Mustard Seed Families